Happy Anniversary

Dustin hadn't been feeling 100%. A week before last week, he stayed a few days home from work. He was tired, had no energy, a little nauseated, shortness of breath...it seemed like the flu. I asked him if he wanted to see the Dr. he said, maybe if I don't feel better. Friday he went to work, they sent him home half day, just to give him time to relax. Monday morning he went to work. Tuesday morning he went to work, but before work I heard him dry heaving. I texted him later to see if he felt ok. He said he just felt tired and had a slight pain in his side. I asked him if he wanted me to book him a Dr. appointment and he said yeah. So Tuesday he went to the Dr. They ordered some blood work on his kidney and he did it on Wednesday.

Thursday Nov. 4th, our 4 year anniversary

I was at work. Dustin stayed home that day. Me and my dad were working on something and Dustin showed up at the studio. My dad looked at him and said, "We can finish this later. It looks like Dustin has something on his mind." I say, "Dustin never has anything on his mind." I never looked at him. The studio phone rings, I answer. It's Dr. Kartchner. He asks if I talked to Dustin lately. I say kinda. Then he proceeds to say, "Well we're sending him to Tucson." (I'm lucky I didn't drop a swear word to the Stake Pres. right then and there) I was shocked! He asked if my schedule was clear so I can go with him. I get off the phone and look at Dustin for the first time and he looks terrified. When Dr. K called him and told him his creatinine levels were high Dustin asked if his kidney was failing and Dr. K said "it looks like" it. What goes through my mind...Holy crap...what's going on...not his kidney...it's got to be something else...this isn't really happening...I have tons to do in 2 hours before we leave...I'm scheduled to speak in Tennessee next week...

I rushed home, packed some bags, we went to see Dr K and off we were to Tucson. The drive over was mellow. I was trying to give Dustin hope, but he was certain of what it was. I think I was in denial. I was certain there's no way this could be happening.

When we got to the hospital they immediately took some blood to confirm the previous blood test was correct, got him hooked up with some monitors and took him for an ultrasound. After that there wasn't much going on. We didn't hear anything else that night. We both slept like crap. Happy Anniversary to us!!

Friday, November 5th

The morning was slow. A Dr. came by the room and said the blood test showed high creatinine, confirming the first one was right. He then talked about the ultrasound and me and Dustin both would swear he said it look normal. That's what we both heard, but he had an accent so we must have misunderstood. He said the Kidney Dr. would be by later to tell us more.

We were waiting to hear from the Kidney Dr. We were hoping it'd be soon. Around 10:30 Dustin's parents showed up. Shortly after Trisha showed and then his brothers and Grandma. We talked and laughed and still didn't hear from a Dr yet. I was getting frustrated because I needed to know and everyone else needed to know too. I'm pretty sure everyone else was certain what it was, but I still was in denial. Especially since we were certain that the morning Dr. said the Kidney looked normal.

Finally around 2:00 the Kidney Dr. showed. It was just me and Trisha (dustin sister) in the room. He sat down and asked a few questions about when they took his other kidney. Trisha went and got her mom because I knew none of the answers. She came in and the Dr. told his Dustin's kidney is shot. It doesn't look good at all on the ultrasound. It's so damaged he'd guess it's at about 5% use. (you only need 2%-3% to pee! There's some trivia for you!) If he doesn't get on dialysis he gives him 1-3 months to live. I was shocked. I tried to stop them, but I couldn't...tears slowly rolled down my face. I didn't sob...just slow tears. I really wanted to be strong for Dustin...I didn't want him to see me cry, but it was hard. It felt like a dream. This couldn't be happening. I seriously kept expecting the "just kidding" to soon follow. Instead it was followed by loads of information that I was struggling to retain. I happened to have my laptop out at the time and started yahoo messaging to my dad & Fish what the Dr. was saying so I could remember and then I decided to take notes to try to remember it all. Most of it went over my head. At this point, I was really happy the Dr. waited so long to come because Gene took it all in and asked questions that weren't on my mind at all and Jenifer answered question I didn't have a clue about. I kinda just sat there shocked.

We had to decide what type of dialysis to do & let the Dr. know what we picked. Who knew there were so many options? I told my family (most of Dustin's was here) and I had phone calls and texts coming in like crazy. On top of trying to figure out the whole dialysis thing, I had to decide what to do about Tennessee and I had to decide fast so we could tell them. I was supposed to fly out Sunday (Dustin too). I can't leave Dustin, but I have a commitment that's been planned for months. I was trying to keep up with it all and keep my head on, which was barely hanging there it felt like. I finally decided I couldn't go. I text my dad & Trisha and told them sorry. They both said I made the right choice. My dad let Tennessee know and they were very understanding, said they'd be praying for us and that they would rebook us for later after we get this worked out. I appreciate them tons.

That night Dustin's family headed home and Stacey, Brandon & the kids came up. They helped me get into a better relaxing state. Stacey, the kids and I went out to Outback Steakhouse while Brandon stayed with Dustin. It was good to get out of the hospital for a bit. When the server brought the food they forgot mine. All I ordered was Clam Chowder. Finally the server comes back around and I tell him I have no soup, and stacey says "At least she has her kidneys, her husband doesn't." haha. we laughed and the server looked as us like we were crazy. I find I have to laugh at these things to keep feeling normal. It's just the way I deal. Laugh during the day...if I need to cry it'll be at night.

Saturday, November 6th

We were woken up rather early with the nurse telling him they've scheduled him for surgery at 10:30 a.m.. They need to put a temporary vascular catheter in his chest to start dialysis immediately until we get the temporary one in. It was a quick procedure that literally lasted 15 mins I swear. It went good and as planned. Dustin parents came up again and he was groggy most the day because of the anesthesia. Later in the afternoon they had him scheduled for dialysis #1. When they showed up he asked how long it would be and they said about 3 hours or so. When the lady stepped out he turns to me, "Well that's not bad. That's just church. I can do that" haha. Made me laugh. Round 1 went fine. I asked Dustin if he wanted me to take a picture and he said yeah. The lady said that was a first. I was kinda surprised. I can't believe she's never had anyone else take a picture of the first treatment. I guess we're freaks!! The lady doing the dialysis had a lot of information that helped out a lot. The rest of the day was pretty plain & boring

Sunday, November 7th

Dialysis started first thing in the morning today at 7 a.m. This lady also had a ton of information for us. She helped out a lot. From talking to each different person, each time I see them it's helped me to start to understand a lot of it (coupled with tons of google searches). It's making mores sense now. After dialysis Fish and her fam showed up. They were there for an hour or so before basically everyone in my family (minus Mark and a few kids) showed. We talked for a bit and Trevor's family hit the road to Goodyear and the rest of us went to Olive Garden for lunch. On the way back Ashtyn insisted on getting a pedegg so she could rub Dustin feet. I told her she didn't have to, but she wanted to. She's a sweet thing. After family left, we just chilled and watched football.

We were hoping to go home today (Monday) but the Dr. came in and said that it'll be Tuesday at the soonest now. Today the surgeon that will put in his peritoneal catheter (in his stomach) will come by to talk to us and the procedure will be tomorrow. We really really hope we can go home after that and not stay til Wednesday. We will see.

So, really its been crazy. This snuck up on us. Dustin didn't feel 100% but at the same time he didn't have heavy signs his kidney was failing, yet it was almost gone. Dr. Kartchner told him how shocked he was that he looks so good. He should've looked like crap. Considering he had one kidney, you could say this was or should've been expected, but it wasn't. Plenty of people have one kidney, but they don't expect the other to fail. The Dr.'s who treated him while he was young said if he made it to 16 he'd be fine. They checked him regularly up to that point. This kidney is so bad that there's no way to know what caused it. Could be a number of things, not that it really matters why it happened.

We've decided to do a type of dialysis called peritoneal dialysis. We will be able to do it at home (or anywhere) instead of 3 times at the office. It gives more freedom for people who want to try to still work and live more normally. They will put another catheter through his stomach (tomorrow) and then we will have supplies shipped to our house monthly. All we need is saline and tubes so it shouldn't be too much. They say it's real simple and all you have to do is make sure you follow the rules and keep it sterile. It's easy to get an infection and if he does it will be real bad and nasty.

We're going to have to make a lot of changes....

We just got a cat, which we're advised not to have. My sister picked him up yesterday to keep him from now on.

Our dogs will be ok if we, 1. have a room designated for the saline transfers that the dogs cannot enter and 2. they can stay in the house, but no longer sleep with us (that'll be a hard adjustment for them and us.)

We're going to rip up all our flooring and replace it with fake wood that won't hold dust the way carpet does. The dogs have lived there for years. I don't want anything that's already there to cause problems. (no one told us to do this, I just thought it'd be a good idea)

Dustin will be put on a different type of diet. He has to watch his potassium, phosphorus, sodium and other things. Lots of fav's are off the list, but there are still plenty that are on the list. Most the food I have at home is no good.

Of course, learning the process we need to do and making sure we don't screw it up! That makes me nervous. I'm sure we'll get used to it.

Dustin will be restricted on things he can do. Not huge things as far as mobility, just little things like swimming and not sweating too much.

So from dang near the moment we hit the road to Tucson we've had people offering their kidneys left and right. The support and attitude of giving has been overwhelming. There have been family, close friends, casual friends, old friends, friends we've barely known...all willing to get tested to donate. That's what's touched me the most. Almost everyone says, "what do I do to get tested?" We appreciate everyones willingness to give. It's crazy.

As far as a transplant goes, there's a lot that has to happen first. First of course, they need to get us all set up to keep him alive until that's a reality :). We will get set up to do the hemodialysis at the clinic in Safford, until his stomach catheter heals. Then during that time, we'll also get training on how to do it at home. Once his stomach heals we'll be ready to roll at home. Once that is all set (or after we get set to do hemo in Safford) they will refer us to a clinic so we can start working on a transplant. Dustin will have to go through a lot of testing. After he is deemed "good for transplant" he will be put on a donor list. Then they will test anyone willing for a living donor. There's a lot for a donor to go through to be a match after they find out they have a compatible blood type. They will do every test in the book to make sure they are fully healthy as well. They will also be put under a psychological exam. They want to make sure the donor isn't doing it out of guilt or the feeling like they have to. It must be their decision. I also want to emphasize that. Related or not, I really don't want anyone to feel like they have to get tested. It's a big deal and I understand if anyone is uncertain about it. I don't expect it from anyone. Dustin is O+, so am I!!! :)

Overall we have a relatively good attitude about it. I have been blessed with an overwhelming feeling of calmness since we got here. I never got in a huge panic or crazy breakdowns or anything like that. I'm grateful for that. I am scared of all the changes we have to make, but that will just be a matter of adjusting. Just yesterday Dustin said it's just the little things he's going to miss. That's so true. It is the little things, but we'll adjust. I'm glad that we got him into the Dr. and they checked his kidney. I'm glad technology has treatment for this. Dustin could live forever on dialysis if he never gets a transplant. We laugh a lot about it and still make jokes (even about his poor little kidney). Just this morning while we were talking Dustin said, "...at least I'm still alive. I think I had one foot in Vining Funeral Home" It cracked me up. That is so him.

I'm not sure where this puts us for our last IVF. I was scheduled to go in this week and hopefully start before Thanksgiving but I've cancelled that because we need to get settled with this. Heaven knows, if I'm the best match to Dustin I'm giving him my kidney before I attempt to get pregnant. If that's the case, by then our contract to do our final IVF will have been expired, but that's ok. It'll be worth it.

I'm grateful to everyone who's been so willing to help and has showed concern. Our families and friends have been great. We've had lots of visit from people from home other then family which has helped keep positive thoughts. So thanks to everyone!